LOSING LORI #54 – October 23, 2013

Hey pals o’ mine,

In a fit of pseudo-drama, I almost didn’t write this damn blog because all indications are that I’ve gained this week. Then I decided being candid and likely relating to people on the same wagon was important.

amy-in-mean-girls-amy-poehler-7197218-640-480If you’ve been reading the blog for a while, you’ll know I’ve had my issues with the scale and how it can eff me up. Thankfully, I am positively not alone in this. But like going back to a bad boyfriend, I hopped on it a few times this week. Right off the bat, ‘a few times this week’ is far too many times to weigh one’s self. I’ll tell you why though.

I figured since I didn’t lose last week but had been eating properly without slip-ups, I was due for a loss, right? Even though I was away for the weekend with plenty of temptation to overeat, I stuck to my guns and did well. Now please realize that part of my definition of ‘doing well’ is that when I have more than a few vodka/Frescas, I dutifully log them into My Fitness Pal and still stay under my calorie limit for the day. I don’t drink often, but now and then, this badass, crafty, suburban Mama goes wild with a few ounces of vodka and a 9:30 pm bedtime. Life in the fast lane, my friends.

So to be honest, I was excited to get back home and weigh myself Monday morning because I was definitely going to have a loss. Nope. I can almost see the scale laughing like an evil dictator and tenting its fingers when I type that. I had gained. I went to work feeling less chirpy than I had before I stepped on that POS. Despite the natural reaction to think, “To hell with it. I might as well eat whatever I want then because this ain’t working,” I stayed the course.

optimistimagesHowever, because my brain is a human one and I am the eternal cockeyed optimist, I thought, “But wait! Surely if I had an unexpected gain today after being disciplined, then I stayed disciplined, the loss will come tomorrow morning!” With that logic, I mounted the nasty steed scale again this morning. ANOTHER GAIN. There were expletives. Several of them. Thankfully, they were muttered rather than screeched and the rest of the family was not woken from their slumber. I went to work and thought, “I can play this game longer than you can, scale.” And today, once again, I’ve been disciplined.

I realized two things. First, upon examination of a handy app on my phone, this gain is very likely a result of Ye Olde Ladyparts (sadly not a suburb in Game of Thrones). Secondly, I need to relocate the scale and/or go with measurements rather than weight. Perhaps I could put the scale in the shed… or Antarctica… or at least somewhere where I don’t have time to get to it in the morning so I only check it once a week. Perhaps I could take the advice of Food Addicts Anonymous and only weigh once a month… or I could smash it with a hammer and make a mosaic out of the pieces.

In any case, I am proud of staying on track despite the mind games I play with this inanimate object. Considering I’ve likely been in the clutches of PMS at the same time, I may apply for some sort of medal and request a plaque on a bench in Fish Creek Park. Thanks for listening and relating. I invite you to share your wisdom regarding the scale because you’re kind of great and stuff.

By the way, what are your strategies for NOT eating Halloween candy before Halloween? I put it in the shed once in a blizzard thinking there’s no way I’d trudge out there for it.Β  I did.Β  LOL.

Love,

Lori

Pounds gained this week: 2.8

Total pounds lost: 54.1