1. Getting into comedy for the money is like getting into triathlons for the rest.
2. There are many comedians who are generous and kind with their advice and wisdom.
3. Not all advice works for everybody.
4. HBO does not call after your first gig, no matter how magnificent you thought you were.
5. Comparison is the thief of joy. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
6. Most audience members are very nice people.
7. Some audience members are troubled and their attacks have absolutely nothing to do with me.
8. There are mentally ill people everywhere.
9. Don’t get so upset when the crazies take up comedy and disrespect it. They always fade away.
10. I am on stage to entertain.
11. Surround yourself with down-to-earth people who don’t take a career of telling jokes too seriously.
12. I’ve learned to have more well-defined boundaries.
13. It’s okay to say no to a gig.
14. Having non-comedy friends is incredibly important. Balance.
15. Living and breathing comedy 24/7 is not healthy and makes me lose perspective.
16. Don’t rent Ford Fiestas.
17. Don’t eat dinner with the crowd you’re about to entertain.
18. I don’t bother listening to or trying to reason with drunk people after shows any more.
19. Comedy is not a meritocracy.
20. Ask for things.
21. The longer I’m in comedy, the less I understand it.
And here is my favourite poem about being six:
Now We Are Six
When I was one I had just begun
When I was two I was nearly new
When I was three I was hardly me
When I was four I was not much more
When I was five I was just alive
But now I am six, I’m as clever as clever*;
So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.
* I wish