Welcome! Glad you could stop by. Hey, could I ask you something? Thanks. Have I gone crazy? Whoa, enough with the smirk. I shouldn’t have set you up like that. Here’s the thing…
I’m writing this on Monday morning. The number on the scale isn’t moving. This is disturbing. I’m very disciplined about my caloric intake and believe me, I would be dead honest with you had I gone on a binge-fest. I would happily confess every greasy detail. But I haven’t. So, here’s what I tell myself to stay sane:
2. The Hernia Twins, i.e. seroma are still with me. Maybe they/it has gained weight (unlikely).
3. Maybe last week’s eating a few hundred calories less than usual every day made my body go into starvation mode and it’s trying to hang onto its resources (because you know how much I resemble a starving person).
4. After the Vancouver weekend of overworking the ole’ hernia site, I’ve taken it very easy physically, i.e. not much exercise, so I heal up right.
5. My scale may be slightly effed. I was kind of hoping to ignore the problem til it went away, but I can weigh myself 5 times in a row and get 4-5 different readings. My theory has always been: TAKE THE LOWEST ONE! I’m not a stupidhead!
I try not to obsess about this stuff too much. The cold hard facts are that I’m eating a sane, healthy amount of calories and I will be eating like this for the rest of my life. Getting rid of my love-lard is really just a matter of time. When I get to where I want to be, it’s not the end. Food’s my addiction and I need to deal with that for life.
Even when the physical changes seem stalled, it reminds me that my mental state is worlds different than 9 weeks ago when I started losing. The daily self-loathing has dissipated. I’m proud of my new habits and prouder of the psych work I’ve done to make that happen. In turn, perhaps I do carry myself a little differently. For quite some time I’ve always acted confident, but now it feels slightly less like an ‘act’ if that makes sense.
So, I guess I just need to heed the words of George Michael and have faith. Is it just me, or does it look like he’s smell-checking his pits in that photo? Don’t get me wrong. It’s still sexy. What’s that? Yes, I have always fallen for gay men. It’s part of my charm.
Hey you, it’s Wednesday morning now. I was out last night doing the Canadian Comedy Award-nominated CJSW Am I Right podcast with some lovely, funny friends. Sweet comedian Chris Griffin said he’d been reading my blog, which kind of surprised and also delighted me. He’s a cool boy in his 20s and he pops by the blog. I like that.
Chris told me he’s gone running (???) for the last 30 days and has lost NO WEIGHT. Even if I had the urge, inclination or physical coordination to ‘run’ or whatever it’s called, if I didn’t notice a difference after a week, I’d hurl myself smack dab into a block of concrete. Chris made the point that most people, when they don’t see relatively quick results, just give up in frustration, but it’s the people that keep pushing through that will see the results. All right, Chris. I’ll push through if you do, dude.
On that note, I have set a record for the least amount of weight lost since I started: .8 pounds. On the sane side, I have no plans to plunge my face into a plate of nachos in frustration. Between George Michael and Chris Griffin, I’m keepin’ the faith, mofos!
Pounds lost this week: .8
Pounds lost to date: 23.9