What is up, HOMIES!?!? Here, have a coffee. Do you want something to eat? I have dried mangoes, generic brand kidney beans and some freezer-burnt meat. Mmm, casserole.
Pardon my flitting about. I’ve just had a solid week of comedy and most of my AB+ blood (yeah, I AM special) has been replaced with adrenaline. I’m trying to keep the blog strictly about losing my lady lumps, but I absolutely must give a most loving shout out to everyone who made the inaugural Calgary Comedy Festival a rip-roaring success! And they announced on Saturday that is will be an annual event! * flashpots * confetti * lasers*
She likely won’t say it herself, so I’ll tell you. This festival was the brain/heart-child of Cory Mack. That’s her in the purple. She dreamed it and she made it happen. My jaw drops in awe quite frankly. She also ran for political office this year. Seriously! Who does that?! She does. She’s one of those rare people who not only has magnificent, grand ideas, but she also leaps up to do the hard work to make it happen, always fueled by a seemingly never-ending supply of raw passion. I flash you with my breasts in admiration, Cory Mack. They’re down here… lower… never mind.
So I did another sneak peek at the scale and it doesn’t even look like I lost a pound. I’m at the point now where I’m just right in the face of weight loss, like a baseball player in an umpire’s face screaming, “You think you’re going to beat me? You think I’m going to give up? HA! I am not going anywhere, you steaming sack of donkey shit! I will haunt you day and night! I will be your worst nightmare!” Too dramatic? Doubt it.
The slow down in poundage lost isn’t so bad. It keeps me aware and honest. My water consumption had dipped (pun!). I haven’t been eating breakfast. Old habits die hard, man. And what’s that other thing? Oh yeah, x-er-size? Is that how you say it? Thankfully my sis-in-law, Rosemary, came over yesterday and gently hauled my ass outside for one of those ‘walk’ thingies. I should probably do that more often. God, sometimes I envy people who are so in the habit of being active that they don’t even have to think about it. Conversely, I am so in the habit of being still and cozy on a couch that they are probably envious of me. Right? RIGHT??
I have been hugged firmly with support and encouragement from family, friends and strangers this week. A very considerate young lady I only knew from Twitter showed up at Yuk Yuks and gifted me with dill pickles and a very sweet card. Why dill pickles? Because those mofos are only 5 calories each! Thank you, Allison, and I’m delighted to be your real-life friend now too.
The other night at Comedy Monday Night, I mentioned the blog and heard a supportive battle cry from the back, so big love to you, Matt. One day I’ll fit into that sassy striped sweater of yours.
I hesitate to mention ‘the twins’ (post-op seroma/swollen belly) because it’s just so hacky now. I’m still swollen but I’m so entirely sick of wearing black cotton stretch pants – it’s been 6 weeks of rotating 3 pairs – I finally started wearing jeans yesterday. It was a bit uncomfortable on the football bulge, but I took a bit of sick pleasure in squashing the twins and telling them who was in charge. Yeah… me, the uncomfortable one. Brilliant, Lori.
Btw, my comedy daughter, Amanda Perrin, has been in town this week and I love her. Also, she moved away to Toronto. This is karma for me moving away from my Mama, right? GD it! Amanda lives for Twitter followers, so would you: @brookeperrin. Thanks. It’s all she’s getting from me for her 5th comedy anniversary.
Okay, let’s get to the scale. Could you make a path to it with rose petals? Thanks. Oh yeeeah, baby. 1.1 pounds lost. Suck on that, gods of the plateau! What? Oh yes, I am known for my maturity. You so GET me. Have a killer week. I miss you already.
Pounds lost this week: 1.1
Pounds lost to date: 25 (1/6 of total pounds to lose!)