Well, hello you sparkly, positive, silky-haired human!
Okay, big realization here. I underestimated the effects of starting a Monday to Friday job after 17 years of not having one. Permit me to get defensive for no particular reason now. I haven’t been on my chaise lounge in a satin day robe wearing kitten heels sampling Bernard Callebaut chockies with well-manicured nails for 17 years. That was only 14 of those years, silly. JAY-KAY!
For those years, I had my most important job as MOM! Once the boys weren’t babies, I papered the neighbourhood with homemade flyers offering piano lessons from our home. That was super fun. I painted each wall of the ‘studio’ (basement) different bright colours and we had some seriously kickass recitals. Don’t get me started on the keyboard cake I made one year with Kit Kat pieces as the black keys. Martha Stewart is still marinating in jealousy over that one.
One night I was watching TV with the closed-captioning on because I had 2 young children who couldn’t be quiet for more than 4 seconds and I wondered, “Someone must have to type those captions. Why isn’t it me?” This led to me e-mailing any place on the ‘net to do with transcription and I landed a job doing video transcription from home. Man, I love a job you can do in your slippers.
For four years, I was a lead presenter with the Friend2Friend Social Learning Society. We gave autism demystification programs, which meant I visited different schools weekly where the younger kids enjoyed a very cool puppet show and the older ones participated in a simulation game to help them understand what it might feel like to have autism. Those were four beautiful years with some of the biggest-hearted, talented, loving people I’ve ever met.
Then I ventured into standup comedy which oddly led me to being a morning show host on the radio. I don’t think the getting up at 4:30 am is the hugest adjustment. Being a M-F person is. One of the coolest things though, despite me trying to figure out how much sleep I need, is Saturday. Oh, Saturday, you sweet, sumptuous, luxurious muffin! The sleeping in (til 8:00 haha), the endless cups of coffee, wearing old cotton stretch pants and letting my hair go full-on Medusa… bliss.
After I posted about my unexpected 4-pound gain last week, a few people mentioned that sleep deprivation affects your weight. That was a surprise and a relief. It’s probably a throwback to when we were cave people. If our body sensed we weren’t sleeping enough, it would think we were out ravenously hunting for food and it should hang on to any extra weight for survival. Also, despite having started such a cool job with two of the loveliest men I know, it’s stress. It’s good stress, no question, but still stress and I guess my body was kind of freaked out.
With the changes, I found eating right somewhat difficult this week. Temptations were tougher to say no to. On my road trip to a gig in Hinton Saturday, I had some vegetables you might be familiar with – onion rings? Heard of them? Very healthy. On the plus side, or is it minus side, when there were Crave cupcakes at work on Friday, I resisted. I wanted everyone to file out of the boardroom so I could be last then accidentally run my index finger across a cupcake and have nowhere to deposit the icing but into my mouth. But knowing my penchant for finger icing, I departed quickly without looking back.
When I returned to my hotel room after the gig Saturday, I was pretty hungry. Thankfully, I’d driven by the convenience stores where the Rip-L-Chips were screaming for me to snuggle them with my tongue. I went to the front desk and helped myself to two lobby apples instead.
The next morning at the free hotel breakfast, I was faced with a wall of bread. I try very hard to avoid bread. Don’t get me wrong, I’m always grateful for a free meal, but wow. They had waffles, pancakes, toast, bagels, cinnamon rolls, croissants, cereal and danish. I steeled myself against all of it, particularly the cinnamon roll (ICING!), and grabbed a banana, yogurt and some sweaty ham. Phew. Near miss.
This week I have to be particularly diligent about getting enough rest. From Thursday-Saturday, I’m emceeing for my pal, Iliza Shlesinger, at Yuk Yuks. I already warned her that I’m going to be on a strict nap schedule so we’ll have to plan our crafting and silliness around it. Pfft, like I’ve ever had a strict anything schedule in my life.
Time to leap on the scale and face the music. Why is facing the music a negative thing anyway? You should put your face right in the music and motorboat it. Exfoliate with some AC/DC, deep cleanse with some Petty and moisturize with a little Floyd, yeah? Yeah.
On that note, I lost 1.1 pounds this week. Yeah, at first, I was seriously bummed. I was hoping to ‘fix’ the 4-lb gain and lose more. Meh, before I start aiming my foot at my own arse, I’ll snap out of it. Better to focus on the fact that despite all the kickass changes going on, I’m doing my best and taking good care of myself. That said, I’m going to buckle down HARD this week. Ha! Because doing 5 shows this weekend in very close proximity to vodka and wings won’t be a temptation at ALL. 😉
Pounds lost this week: 1.1
Total pounds lost: 48.4